One of my very first “real” jobs was as a dishwasher in an area diner. Although it was a humble position, there were important life lessons that it taught me.

Night shift in a diner can be an interesting experience. The cast of characters that pass through the doorways is diverse and always in a state of flux. As you would expect, some are good natured and jovial and others, not so much. I’ve always been a people-watcher, interested in how varied we all are, each with a unique story. Time spent in a diner over a meal is more than just a quick passing on a sidewalk or in a shopping mall. It is long enough, and the setting casual enough, for people to let down their formalities and just be.

In that setting, while I was bussing tables, washing dishes, mopping floors, and cleaning restrooms, I watched human nature unfold. It was messy.

I suppose like many who worked menial jobs, I watched the clock a lot. As a high school student, I was not used to working through the night, yet I became aware that the life of the diner had a rhythm to it with a pattern of tasks and patrons. I looked forward to sunrise and those customers looking for an early breakfast at the start of their day. Many were regulars who knew the cook by name. However, long before sunrise, I would cringe as 2am approached, because the bars would soon close and customers who had too much to drink would file in. I felt sorry for the waitresses who were generally young women with families to raise or tuition to pay, who took the brunt of the boorish and aggressive behavior of these customers. These were usually men, who were sometimes loud, demanding, and outright mean. On more than one occasion, I joined the cook to run defense for a waitress being harassed by a customer.

One thing that surprised me though is that is was not only men who acted like this; some woman customers did too. As a young observer, I expected empathy and solidarity between the female customers and the waitresses, but that was not always the case. All these years later I still remember a customer who had come in with a small group after the bars closed. She was extremely demanding and outright nasty to her waitress. The waitress, a young mother working to help support her family, swallowed her pride and did everything she could to provide good service. Yet as she rose to leave, the customer dropped her lit cigarette into a half-filled cup of coffee and also threw in coins as a meager tip with the statement “There’s your tip, honey.” I cleared the table after the customer left without a backward glance, washed and dried the coins and gave them to the waitress who was in tears in the kitchen.

That crass act has stuck with me for nearly fifty years, because it taught me an important lesson; sometimes life presents to you a perfect example of what not to be. That relatively small, but none-the-less, impactful act caused unnecessary pain and spoke volumes about the character of that customer. It also helped me understand that Martin Luther King Jr. had it right; it is about the content of our character. I believe we all know it when we see it.

 

by Kevin Deeny – a lifelong resident of Levittown, Pennsylvania